Do INTJs Really Not Care?

Good news, everyone!

For this week, I decided to take on the age old question of “do INTJs really not care?” Let’s find out, shall we.

The Problem

So, when many people first meet an INTJ, they can be easily put off by how aloof and reserved he is. In the worst case scenario, the INTJ seems to not care about them. But it’s also possible that as a person gets to know an INTJ, they will hear the catchphrase “I don’t care”. Some people think they have INTJs figured out, and it is their belief that INTJs do care, but that they use apathy as a defense mechanism to either save face or to protect themselves from being vulnerable. But is that true? Well, as an INTJ, I can tell you which is which, and the answer is going to frustrate you.

The Answer

The answer is that sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t. Unfortunately, this is true for everyone more or less, so let’s go into a bit more detail.

The Details

It is true an INTJ may say “I don’t care” as a defense mechanism, but the only way to know for sure if your INTJ is doing this is to ask him directly or just by being around him enough to know. If you’re close to said INTJ, he will probably come clean; if not then, then eventually. And if he does come clean, it means he trusts you a great deal. (Don’t piss on that trust.) But to get into the real nuance of the matter, I have to give you this complex answer: honestly, yes; practically, no. So, what does that mean? Do INTJs Really Not Care?

Let’s use an example: being liked. Do INTJs care? Honestly, yes, but practically speaking, no. Truth be told, no one ever really wants to be disliked or hated. Such contempt creates friction or resistance in life and can lead to confrontation, which can be messy and hugely inconvenient. Not to mention, INTJs are sensitive on the inside, so they are looking for the affections and acceptance of at least one person. So, ideally, we would like to be liked by everyone because then people would care about us and we wouldn’t have any enemies. But practically speaking, it’s a different story.

It’s not possible to be liked by everyone in the world. Some values and ideas that you have will invariably be disliked or hated by someone else. Even if those reasons aren’t good ones, that won’t stop hate. Haters gonna hate. INTJs realize this, and since they have well-honed ethics and specific tastes, along with an aptitude for stubbornness, they’re predestined to end up on someone’s shit list. Therefore, it’s not practical for an INTJ to care about being disliked because they’re going to have more than their fair share of haters.  And INTJs have better things to do than to worry about who hates them.  Do INTJs Really Not Care?

Non-Attachment

There are a few other things that this reasoning extends to, but for the most part, it is subjective, and the only way to learn about what your INTJ cares about is by talking to him. However, there are some INTJs that seem to be able to practice the Buddhist principle of complete non-attachment. Whether they can or cannot is a different discussion. Personally, I would warn every INTJ to not practice this level of apathy. I don’t believe it’s actually attainable for one thing. Secondly, it’s too easy to put to the test and be turned against the INTJ. And lastly, I’m pretty sure that anyone who truly doesn’t care about anything is actually a sociopath. And even if said INTJ isn’t, I would worry that his inability to become attached to anything would be a great detriment to his life. Possessions that aren’t maintained break down, and relationships that aren’t maintained can lead to a lonely existence. I also can’t help but think what this might mean for an INTJ’s Fi (introverted feeling) and Se (extraverted sensing) functions. Fi forms the backbone of an INTJ’s morality, and we all live in a world of mind and body. It would be a great waste to allow the gift that is the tactile world to go unexplored for who knows what mysteries we may solve or secrets we may discover by simply touching something. Do INTJs Really Not Care?

TL; DR

In conclusion, the INTJ catchphrase “I don’t care” can or cannot be true. The only way to know for sure is to know your INTJ. And further, there are times when we do care deep down, but outwardly, we don’t because it’s just not practical to get involved. So, getting to know your INTJ can be a mind-altering experience, but if you’re genuinely interested in getting to know us—if you genuinely care—we will, too, and we’ll help you along the way.

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Do INTJs Really Not Care?